An Over-Creative Mind

It seems that I enjoy having multiple projects going at once, even if it means not completing any of them. Perhaps especially since it means not completing any of them. When it comes to my writing, it seems that I love spending all my time expanding on stories that pop into my head and almost no time actually writing. That tends to be a problem when one considers oneself a writer. I find that I’m very good at creating excuses for myself: I can’t find my flash drive, I’m having writer’s block, I can’t work without my map, I don’t like where this is going, etc., etc. Meanwhile, I allow days, weeks and sometimes months to go by without any attempt at writing at all. This is an extreme lack of discipline on my part. I’ve thought a long time about why I don’t like to sit and write, but the best I can come up with is this: I fear that if I write every day it will feel like work and not fun. But this seems a very weak argument to me. I think it’s better to say that no excuse is a good excuse. I bought a journal so that, in those times I am not near a computer, I can still write. But even without a journal, I should write on whatever I can find! Napkins if need be!

Currently I’m working on a psychological thriller, a fantasy and a fanfic. The fanfic is the easiest of the group and I should just take an afternoon and finish that off. The other two…therein lies the problem. I’ve never written a fantasy before, but it seems like a massive undertaking. I’m working on maps and glossaries and spending time making up mythologies and culture. I mean, I feel like I’m back in school researching for a history paper. If that were the only aspect of this project, I’d actually really enjoy it. But I have to keep reminding myself that beyond all this “researching” is a story that needs to be written.

I’m doing similar researching for the psychological thriller. My biggest problem with that story is that, for the most part, the entire action is between two characters who, despite my best efforts, have a certain level of chemistry together. Unwanted chemistry. Though many have told me to just let it go where it wants to go, I can’t. I know where this story is supposed to go in my head, and it’s not supposed to go there. I just need to stay focused on the plot and ignore everything else. It seems that writing that story is the least amusing part of my hobby, and the most like work. I sometimes feel like I’m pulling teeth – writing and deleting and re-writing – just to get a paragraph down. I would hate to give up on this one – I think it’s a really intriguing and original story – but I just don’t know how to salvage it.

Well, here’s hoping that I do actually find my flash drive so that I don’t have to re-write those chapters I’m working on! I should also re-instate my dream diary, but that's for another post.