Bad Boys, Bad Boys...

What is it about cop shows that are so endearing to me? I'm not talking about the show COPS, or anything, but I could sit and watch a 24 hour marathon of Law and Order: SVU without breaking a sweat! This summer I started watching CSI and Bones. It's even infiltrated my choices in reading manga, like the yaoi novel S and Alcohol Shirt and Kiss. Perhaps I shouldn't over-analyze my love of cop dramas, but I can't help it. There's something about the way they depict life and the struggle between good and evil and the lack of purity in the world...all the while subliminally justifying the use of excessive force and guns. When I think about it, I'm not really supportive of excessive force or guns, or of the people who think there's nothing wrong in using either, but it's still exciting to watch. It's a similar feeling when I think of westerns, too. Perhaps there is something to the saying that good guys are so much better when they're bad. I like that archetype: the characters that bleed good and evil together, who can't be found in either polarity. Isn't that where we all live, ultimately? These shows merely show us a glimmer of what life is really like. I think that those of us who are apart from the world of crime and law tend to have a romantic idea of what it means to be a cop, and how cops are supposed to act. And then we get upset when those ideals are not met. No wonder people have become so bitter and even hateful towards those people who have taken an oath to protect us. It's funny that we want our heroes on tv to be murky but our real heroes to be spotless and pure.

The first example of this that comes to mind is the Sean Bell shooting that took place in 2006 in Queens, NY. Now, I believe that shooting someone 50 or however many times is in itself excessive and wholly unnecessary. But I also think that people sometimes forget that police officers are people first and foremost; they err as much as anyone else. Put in the same situation, I'm sure I too would be scared beyond belief and would stop thinking rationally.

Having said that, I don't think that those officers should be allowed to carry weapons around, or should even be on the force. It takes a certain type of person to put themselves in harm's way and not lose their shit. Perhaps the police officers in question were not properly trained, or law enforcement is not the best use of their talents, but criminally charging them is unhelpful and missing the point, as is not disciplining them at all.

Returning to the world of fiction, there's also a draw to seeking justice and what that means to different people that hooks me in these story lines. Justice comes at what price? Should we sell our souls to get justice for someone else? Does that even make it justice, or would you call that vengeance? I recently saw the movie Max Payne with a friend. It was a horrible movie, but for some reason I found myself really enjoying Mark Walburg being chased, shot at and haunted by Valkyries in his search for truth and justice for his wife and child. After the movie ended, I was even excited at the prospect that there might be a sequel. But, wtf? There was nothing redeeming about the movie, save for perhaps the special effects and sound. It didn't matter, and it continues to not matter, as long as there's some mildly compelling show about a cop seeking justice.

A Brave New World

This is my first attempt at blogging. A writer friend of mine said that he bloggs just to keep him writing. I've been going through dry season of late and really need to get back into my practice. Hopefully I'll update on a semi-regular basis, but a bit of patience may be required, as I was never one to journal.

I must mention the cat, as his big face is right there. His name's Caspian. A two-year old Amercian Short Hair/Tabby(?), I'm not really sure. I got him last June through CraigsList and adore him. I've never had a pet before (if you don't count fish as real pets) and am a nervous new mother. I spoil him to death, I'm afraid. But when you have looks like that, you get away with a lot. Just this morning, he was lounging on top of my armoire while I was getting dressed, lashing out at my hands every time I tried to pull something out of the drawers. Just lazy playing, as always, but still a bit annoying. Well, he's a cat, it's his M.O.

I named this blog A Pilgrim's Progess, well, because that's what my life is: a journey to enlightenment. It's based off of the Christian story, or comic book, which has stuck with me ever since I read it as a child. Right now I feel like I'm on a pathway through unknown territory, with no horizen in sight. I'm not particuarly troubled that I don't have a clear view of what's in front of me, I just like coasting along, seeing what new things pop up. I can't really take stock in big plans; plans just get disrupted, go awry, create stress and anxiety. Don't get me wrong, I'm wonderful at making plans, just not so good in implementing them. I don't see this as a good trait or a bad one - it just is. But it means that, when necessary, I do need to discipline myself a bit more. That's where the blogging comes in. I suppose if I can write everyday, I can finally finish some projects and see where these gifts take me. Who knows, perhaps it will lead to the reinstatment of other daily practices, such as my yoga and meditation routines. One can only hope...